LEGALLY QUALIFIED CHAIR REQUIRED

That was the heading of a recent job advert in the Law Society Gazette online for a police authority. Our fearless reporter Dick Chilblain reports.

I met Sofa Sideboard, 36, Chaise-longue of the Furniture Liberation Front, a splinter group of the Campaign for a Furniture Discrimination Act:

” The language of power is about chairs and tabling. No-one wardrobes a motion or seeks a legally qualified commode. All items of furniture should be available for everything.”

WC Pan,162, of the extremist Toilet State group said his members were tired of being “p…ed on…. I live for the day when we have a Toilet of a Footsie 100 company and when jokes about toilets and motions are not considered acceptable.”

Change is resisted by the influential Chair and Table Association. Its spoke Aga Cooker,97, said that it was not realistic to expect footstools and umbrella stands to exercise power “for at least 50 years.” Cultural change and education was required.

The Solicitors Regulation Authority said that now it had abolished Continuing Professional Development and was scrapping training and exams and allowing Alternative Business Structures to do what they want  “there is no reason why any item of furniture should not own and manage a law firm- many do already.”

All the regulatory and representative bodies welcomed everything.